This discussion isn't really about friends and enemies. Rather, it is about relations between two individuals getting strained, usually reaching a point of no return. The psychology behind such a transition is fairly simple to understand.
Getting Together
Let us rewind to the beginning. Two individuals first interact, or begin interacting, with one another either because they are members of the same family, or they work or travel together or there is some common interest that binds the two. As long as this remains a win-win situation, Diaplex things are absolutely hunky dory. Things take a slightly different turn when one of them stands to gain and the other one neither gains nor loses.
The Downturn
Things become bad when one person gains and the other stands to lose. The aggrieved person - let us call him 'Person A' -- now starts putting together his rationale for this unequal situation. He starts imagining that injustice has been handed out to him. He also starts imagining that the other person -- say, 'Person B' -- has an unfair advantage and that he is misusing that advantage.
Pre-Judging A Person
At this stage he starts making a mental note of 'B's drawbacks and deficiencies. 'A' also starts recollecting every single negative or unpleasant transaction between the two of them. When 'A' thinks about 'B', he always sees 'B' through 'colored glasses' which keeps telling him how good he himself is and how bad 'B' is. Another effect of this colored glass phenomenon is that it keeps reminding him about how, in every transaction, he was right and 'B' was wrong. With this mindset, it is impossible to imagine that this person will think in a rational manner. His verdict about 'B' is ready even before the case has begun.
The Grand Mix-Up
If you look closely at what is happening at the back of this person's mind, you will be surprised. This person is unable to separate 'transaction' from the 'person'. A negative transaction, or shall we say a transaction with a negative outcome, does not make the person bad.
What it indicates is simply that on that particular day, these two people had different opinions about the particular topic at hand. Instead of saying 'we agree to disagree', they probably got into a verbal fight, called each others names, and branded each other as 'bad'. Neither of these two people was bad, only that transaction had a negative outcome.
That is why it is important for all of us to look at a transaction or its outcome as just that -- a mere transaction -- and not pass a judgment about the other person. No two people can agree on everything at all times and, therefore, some transactions are bound to have negative outcomes. So what?
Conclusion
Like the 'A-B-C Classification' of items as in Inventory Systems, treat a transaction as a C-class item and the person as an A-class item. Try doing this and trust me, you would have discovered a new way of living -- a way of converting even your enemies into friends.
The author has analyzed over 600 people belonging to some 25 personality types and has drawn simple thumb-rules for dealing with people and situations. Follow this author's advice and you will never have to repent your actions.
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